Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He did a backflip because drugs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
