found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
