Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Damn victory sex feels great
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
