Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
try to milk me bitch
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