Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
