call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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