Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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