all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
