so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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