I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
