nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
