I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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