Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
