Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize