evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if only i could text you this smell
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
