I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
