I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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