my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
