I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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