ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Let's paint friendship bongs
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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