no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
as a side note pls kill me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
