so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
