I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
