You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
