she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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