1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
