Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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