You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
