my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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