god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
