my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
