Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
