with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
