I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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