even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
