she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
