ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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