I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
