how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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