whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
