Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
