New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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