Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
