i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
