I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
