I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
