He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
