Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
