the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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