ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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