Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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