I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
