They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
