Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
