yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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