i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
