Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
