I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
