If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
